Life with Three

"How is it being the mother of 3?"

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked this in the last 3 weeks, I would be one happy mama (and if I could actually drive myself somewhere to spend those dollars I would be even happier).

In a word. It has been crazy! Mostly I have been operating in a fog.

Recovering from major surgery (check), anemia (check), lack of sleep (check), nursing baby every 2-3 hours (check), trying to roll out of bed long enough to get some sort of food for the other children (check), changing Drayson diapers against his will (check), listening to a strong-willed Caleb try and run the show all day long (check), trying to break up Caleb & Drayson scuffles (check), finding the phone in order to call someone to come and get the boys so I don't strangle them (check).

praying for patience, strength & grace (double check).

Please take note that I did not list taking regular showers or dressing myself in anything other than sweats/pj pants. My straightener and make up are lost somewhere in the back of the vanity it has been so long since I used them. Some days I forget to brush my teeth (yup I just admitted that). Dirty dishes sit in my sink until Chip or my mother takes pity on them. Same goes for the clothes in the hamper. And don't even look at my floors (very convenient timing that this is when the dogs are shedding their winter coat and all).

I am not usually a "woe is me, pity party kinda gal." I've always believed that you just "suck it up and play the hand you're dealt." But if I have ever been bordering on my breaking point it is now. There have been times in these last weeks that have nearly brought me to my knees, times that I just want to yell "mercy." When I shared these thoughts with Chip and asked him in a state of panic: "what if it gets to the point that I just can't do it?"

And he looked over at me and calmly said: "you do it, because there was never any choice not to do it. I didn't marry a quitter, I married you."

And he was right. Even though it seems easier sometimes to not be that person. And when I woke up this morning, I prayed again for patience and for calm. And decided to get to it. I got right out of bed after nursing the babe. I got the boys breakfast and started a load of wash with Drayson's help. I put Kearyn down for a nap (and she obliged me). Got the boys dressed. Did the dishes. Threw in another load of wash. Caught up on some soccer email. I've been more productive in 3 hours than I have been in 3 days. And it feels pretty good.

And I'm glad I did it, because in all honesty it might all go south this afternoon, the train may literally jump the track over here in the very near future. And I may need to borrow Caleb's bike helmet (because I might be driven to bang my head against the wall). But at least I'll have this morning to hold onto. When I pretended things were normal again.

Oh, yeah. I'm even planning on getting that shower today.

Wish me luck.